Memorandum
Ordering Drinks
Please remember to order drinks one at a time as we like to run backwards and forwards - it keeps us fit.
When ordering a round, please make sure you don't know what you want when you arrive at the bar. We like to stand and wait while you nip backwards and forwards or shout across the room to find out; but we do generally find other people at the bar who have been waiting "half an hour" may start moaning - not your problem.
Once you have received your two drinks please take them back to your tableand stay for a quick chat before coming back to pay. We will still be waiting. W'ere not going anywhere and would appreciate the rest.
Always order your Guinness last. We really want you to stand at the bar with all your other drinks while it settles and are particulartly pleased when we forget about it and have to be reminded to top it up. Never put the money in our hands. We like to pick it up off the bar especially if it's all in change and in a puddle of beer. Never say "please" or "thank you" - it only irritates us.
Always wait until you have been told how much your round is before ordering crisps etc. When requiring ready salted crisps please ensure you ask for the full range of flavours available before asking for "plain" - it helps us learn our stock.
When buying a pint for "Jim", "Tom" etc., please don't ask them what they want, just tell us their name or show us where they are standing because we like to guess and get such a thrill if we get it right.
If you arrive at the bar and there is somebody waiting before you, shout up before they do. We like to be abused by people who think they have been served out of turn. It is usually our fault - we have the ability to keep track of people as they arrive at the bar, particularly on busy nights, so why not use it.
By all means ask for a "gentlemans half" - our stocktaker likes a challenge.
If not of the "faith" when asked for your glasses at closing time please offer us your spectacles. Although we have heard this a million times before we never cease to find it amusing.
When ordering a round, please make sure you don't know what you want when you arrive at the bar. We like to stand and wait while you nip backwards and forwards or shout across the room to find out; but we do generally find other people at the bar who have been waiting "half an hour" may start moaning - not your problem.
Once you have received your two drinks please take them back to your tableand stay for a quick chat before coming back to pay. We will still be waiting. W'ere not going anywhere and would appreciate the rest.
Always order your Guinness last. We really want you to stand at the bar with all your other drinks while it settles and are particulartly pleased when we forget about it and have to be reminded to top it up. Never put the money in our hands. We like to pick it up off the bar especially if it's all in change and in a puddle of beer. Never say "please" or "thank you" - it only irritates us.
Always wait until you have been told how much your round is before ordering crisps etc. When requiring ready salted crisps please ensure you ask for the full range of flavours available before asking for "plain" - it helps us learn our stock.
When buying a pint for "Jim", "Tom" etc., please don't ask them what they want, just tell us their name or show us where they are standing because we like to guess and get such a thrill if we get it right.
If you arrive at the bar and there is somebody waiting before you, shout up before they do. We like to be abused by people who think they have been served out of turn. It is usually our fault - we have the ability to keep track of people as they arrive at the bar, particularly on busy nights, so why not use it.
By all means ask for a "gentlemans half" - our stocktaker likes a challenge.
If not of the "faith" when asked for your glasses at closing time please offer us your spectacles. Although we have heard this a million times before we never cease to find it amusing.
St. Mary in the Marsh, Romney Marsh, Kent, TN29 0BX - Tel: 01797 362139
St. Mary in the Marsh, Romney Marsh, Kent, TN29 0BX - Tel: 01797 362139
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